Today

I happened to find this page on the computer today about how several folks had a drastic weight transformation. This happened to show up coincidentally after having the "talk" with my mom the day before.  In this talk she prefaced the conversation with " What I am going to tell you isn't meant to hurt your feelings, I just want you to know something that has been on my mind."  She further went on to say I want you to be more concerned about your health.  She told me that she has a heart condition, not to mention a few other concerns that she has to monitor. Daughter you need to change your eating habits and try to excercise more is what she said.  You have gained a lot of weight and I am worried abut you now give me a hug and she politely sent me on my way.

Now in my head what I heard her say was what most people that have to deal with skinny family members is that you are fat and you need to lose weight.  Mind you that isn't what she said but, as you can imagine my feelings were hurt.

 She knows I have been on a constant battle with my weight since I had my son, yes I know that was more than 10 years ago now however, there are some things that occur in your life that attribute to weight gain. A C- Section, stress, your job, and sometimes I have even heard it just may be genetics.

With every word my mother said, it brought back so many memories of how I used to be the perfect weight.  I used to be able to maintain that weight with no problems.  What happened to the me that I used to be? Where is that girl... why is it that I can't seem to get a handle on this thing.   I work hard, I am not sedintary, as a matter a fact I am very active. No my lifestyle really doesn't give me much of a chance to get to a gym. There are lots of times where I seem to have no motivation to work out when I come home and yep I know these are merely excuses but,  to me they are valid.  If I don't have anyone watching me I don't push myself to let's say workout with one of these shows on t.v. or even use the darn tapes I have.

What I have been doing is making healthy choices and I have to do a considerable amount of walking at work so in my opinion that honestly seems to be enough.  Now in reality I know there are so many other things that I could be doing.  I find myself trying to mimic others and see what worked for them in the hopes that it would work for me.  I have done Weight Watchers, Atkins, the Master Cleanse and  even a few more that for the life of me I can't seem to remember at the present moment.

I figured that I could work this out if I had more of a structured base and possibly get some postive feedback during this process.  I do want to lose weight for not only myself but for my son.  He means everything to me and I certainly want to be here for him since we are all each other has.

If anyone has any pointers I have an open mind.  I realize that I have to take it one day at a time and remembering not to be so hard on myself if I fall down sometimes.