Friday, June 10, 2011

What is best for me?

With all of the products they have out there I am getting a bit confused with what is best for me. I have been walking and I have to say that I really really enjoy it.  I like the scenery... I like the peace I find with God while walking.  I am given the opportunity to just be alone with my thoughts and I have the chance to reflect on things past, present, and future. I am given the chance to watch people and to just be a part of the world behind the scenes.  I have been swimming and even going to the gym.

I like that I can spend time with some good friends and have good conversation and the fact that we can give some encouragement to one another.  I now know that I truly have lots of support even if I may not take advantage of it all the time, ( sorry guys ) but I thank you for your love and support!

Now back to the issue at hand, I have been doing some serious thinking about Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutri System, the Lap Band, and the G.B. With all of these options how does anyone know which one to choose? If one should choose to do any of these at all.  What makes someone a candidate for any of these more than say someone else? It's very difficult to try and figure it out.  At least for me anyway, I can  remember how we used to be when we were young.  I was very fit, I was very thin for most of my life and was never worried about my weight.

I can remember when they didn't have all of these programs or the reality shows that follow you or force you to only think about your weight..  I can remember when we used to enjoy being outside going hiking, walking, skating, riding a bike or just being out doing something that required some sort of motion.  Isn't it funny how when you get older, get married ( or have a partner) then start your family how all of these life changes impact your weight?  Not just the women either.  Why can't we go back to the time of  June Cleaver?  I don't think June ever worried about her weight.  =(  Well  all of that is just something that I was thinking about when out for one of my walks.  Something for you to think about and I will let you know should I decide to do one of the a fore mentioned things.  For now ... I think I will just stick with what I have been doing. Less stressful and all.

Glad to share and thanks for listening,  and may you find some time to do something for yourself today! =)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Enjoying the Sunshine

I have been back on the walking routes and trails.  Since my treadmill broke ( another cruel joke someone was playing on me) or so I suspect, I am just thankful to see beautiful days.  I have been drinking lots of water and walking with friends.  Some great support folks.  I want to say a big thank you for all of your love and support.  It is making the journey a little bit better for me.

I find that we have some pretty good conversations and get in a lot of good people watching.  It's nice to see what's going on in the world.  I also find it's a good reminder for me to get to the store to get myself some fruit for my afternoon snacks.  So all in all it has encouraged my healthy eating.

Today's message is short but sweet so I will be sure to let you know if we see anything interesting out there while we are on our walks. =)  Have a Blessed day everyone!!!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Being Creative without Electricity

I have had to find ways to be more creative about eating without any electricity in the house.  There was a power outage on Monday and it would seem to me that someone played a cruel and horrible joke on me and my son.  All the power came back on in the house accept for in the kitchen. Since the house is older it has some work that needs to be done so I wasn't too surprised that it happened like that.  Granted there wasn't that much going on in the refrigerator nor in the cabinets since I hadn't had a chance to go shopping yet.  So what is a girl to do.  It being so late in the evening when we got home I really didn't feel like going back out into the nasty storm so I wound up making sandwiches.  Keep in mind I am trying to stay away from the breads, pasta's or the other carbs.  I think I am being valid in the decision to have a sandwich this time since I can't cook or make anything else.

I called PG& E to have them come out and check to see what was going on and the service technician said that there was a bad circuit breaker that would need to be repaired.  Okay great I thought to myself its 9:00 at night where the heck is our property management gonna find someone that can help at this hour, not to mention that they would even want to come out in this storm.  Needless to say we resolved that we would just go on to bed thinking that an electrician would be in the plan for Tuesday.

Well Tuesday morning I got on the phone again and requested that they send someone out.  I was told that maybe since it was raining so hard there may not be anyone that would be willing to come out as it would be a safety issue.  What the heck are we gonna do for food?  My son was sure he knew what we would be eating... mommy why don't we go to McDonald's?  Well son,  I told him I really don't think you need to have that so let's just go and get a nice salad and have that.  His reply was,  " What with NO MEAT or BREAD!!!"  My baby loves rice also so he was fit to be tied when he learned that the microwave didn't work.  The stove or oven didn't work either.  What is going on here?  He asked me if we were considered poor now since we had no electricity in the kitchen.  I thought that was super hilarious only to see he was less than pleased with his mom for laughing at what was surely a dire emergency.  He broke the whole thing down for me so that I could understand it.  You know because sometimes parents are so old we forget things.  =)

You see mom,  10 year old boy's need their strength and they need milk for strong bones.  How can you be laughing when my bones are losing their calcium at an alarming rate without receiving my usual daily supply? How long is the refrigerator, stove, & microwave gonna be out for?  I need sustenance mom this is no joking matter.  I could only look at him, still laughing only this time inside so that I would not offend him again. I told him that I would figure something out.

So we had salad for dinner and I was able to take the toaster into the living-room so that he could make some toast to go with it,  since he just needed to have bread and I bought him a small container of milk so that it wouldn't go bad and he could get his daily supply that he was telling me about.  While enjoying our meal I was trying to think of what else we could have until they get the power problem taken care of.  I don't want to buy fast food everyday nor do I want anything to spoil as the fridge has become a mere storage area only without the power.

I am hoping to have the power back on soon!  Pray for us.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Hijacked - Working my way back

Hello everyone,

My apologies for the little hiatus.  I was having some technical difficulties but, now I am back.

Well after much hard work I was finally able to get back into my blog.  I am not sure if it was the user error or if someone in the cyber world  was keeping me back from giving my updates.  Since I was last able to check in way back in January... I have been diligently working on losing some weight.  I have been walking quite a bit and even eating healthier than I already was.  I am sure everyone has heard of one cleanse product or another but, I decided to go ahead and get one of those.  It was a 15 day cleanse and I did lose several pounds with it. I was very pleased with the results.  I didn't lose as much as I thought I would but it did help me jump-start my system and get me on the right path.  I am drinking lots of water and with the walking I am doing it has helped a great deal.

I have had some minor set backs since my last entries.  There was some trouble on the home front and I finally realized that I am truly an emotional eater.  I had said that before in one my previous entries,  but I couldn't have found that out at a more inopportune time. Meaning why did it have to happen when I am trying to lose weight and progressing so very well.  My son my very reason for being was having some serious trouble dealing with a  issue and while helping him work this problem out I started to get back on the old path of eating rice, having bread, and occasionally having some sweets. No it wasn't all the time but it was frequent enough that it could undo the few pounds that I did lose.  I would not eat a whole lot of these things but, since I know what they do to my body it would have been better to just get away from them altogether instead of heading down the path of destruction.

I would eat the rice with vegetables and instead of having a half of a cup I would have maybe 2 cups of rice and in my world with these hips and the rest of what I have to go with it, well it was pandemonium. The rice, the bread, the sweets are on a first name basis with me. Maybe just my middle name, but anyway when I put them in my mouth, all I could hear inside my head is girl didn't you miss all this is? ( if food could talk then my brain was interpreting the foods to be saying these words.)  I don't nor did I go out eating burgers and fries every day but again you know if you shouldn't have rice or lets say as much rice then why put it in your mouth.    I was sitting in my bedroom thinking I feel bad about eating the way I have been for the past few days and I just may have undone all of my hard work.

How is it that you can eat like that and it be so good while you're doing it and then moments later feel so sad, depressed, or even unsatisfied.  Most of my friends have told me that I am not eating bad at all.  You are having something from the basic food groups and you aren't eating a lot of fried foods. I eat and love vegetables, salads, and fruits.   Most of the meats I am eating are baked, or grilled so there is little to no fat if there is any at all.  Some how that doesn't make me feel any better.

I need to get to the root of the problem.  What is or what did cause me to gain the weight in the beginning that I can't seem to put a handle on.

I need to know my self worth and realize that I am not the only person that has had or will have an issue with weight.  

Thanks for listening............more to come.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Day 2 - Yoga Revelations & some other stuff.

Last night I had another round of yoga and it was tough!!!  I started off with the first 10 minutes which was moderate but when you have all the extra's hanging on it can be a bit daunting.  Neverless I pressed on and made it through.  I moved on to the next 10 minutes which was different than the first set.  This time the instructor actually tried to step it up a bit and had us doing more of what I thought to be contortioning. 

I have never been nor do I plan to be a circus entertainer.  Is she crazy? She wanted me to get myself in this plank position and then lift one leg in the air.  Now if she was looking at me she would know that I can't hold my leg up like she was doing simply because one of my legs probably weighed more than her entire body mass.  Now I am exaggerating a bit on that really but, come on now. I am hoping she will have us do something that wont have me pass out.  I really was only able to keep my leg up in the air for all of 10 seconds and down it went, two, three, four and back to child pose I went. I got to tell you I am loving the child pose most of all.

 I am curious to know why it is that all of the trainers and the people we see on television in the weight loss commercials happen to be a perfect size zero when they are trying to get us to lose weight. 

My instructor seems to be a perfect size zero and I can't lie I am feeling a bit of the green eyed monster creeping up in me.  I look at her and think I know I used to look like that and then I look at myself struggling to do the excercises and realizing I am having a real hard time being able to do them. 

I did this to myself.... who would choose this life for themselves willingly?  Not me, not you, I don't think anyone would.  Oh well at least I am on the path to recovery.  I have been thinking about something that one of the bloggers posted, and that was that you have to find out what the issue is behind your eating.

I know now that I am a stress eater, I am a Lover of good food, I am a social eater, and I love to cook and  I also enjoy watching others enjoying the dishes that I have prepared for them.  How these things work against me  well I have to put them into perspective.  I know that if I am feeling sad I have to eat its as if me having some homemade dish will absorb the depression, I feel that with every bite I take I get a little lighter and before you know it I have devoured some rich dish.  Something with a sauce or gravy or butter.  Don't get the wrong impression because I don't eat a lot of hamburgers, or pizza's, and certainly not too many sweets.

I love carrot cake, but I have to be careful where I get it from because some folks have the nerve to put coconut in it and I am deathly allergic to that.  I don't eat brown chocolate because I saw a documentary on it many years ago and so I now have a phobia against it.  You have no idea how limited your choices are when you only eat white chocolate with no brown attached to it at all.  lol  My friends think I am crazy but if you knew what goes into that stuff you would be on the White Chocolate train yourself.  

I think I may be rambling  a bit... basically I wanted to see if others are out there with these same revelations? Well I know there are but I guess I want to know what did you do about them.  I suppose I should get to how I did with my eating for today.

Today for breakfast I had a hard boiled egg, several raw carrots, and a bottle of water.  A little later in the morning I had a few glasses of hot tea.  For lunch I had some beef and shrimp Pho.  I had a regular sized bowl of it and it was delicious.  I had water to drink when I really wanted a soda but I resisted the temptation.  On the ride home I had package of the snack size peanut butter n cheese crackers.  For my dinner I ate a boiled hot link plain, yeah that was it or so I thought but then I was still hungry so I cooked myself 2 gorton fish fillets and one serving of sweet potato fries.  Sighhhhhhh this is going to be tough.

Stay tuned .....

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Day 1 - Finding the Real Me

Today I neglected to bring anything for breakfast... so I had a can of  tamales that were stashed away in my overhead bin at my desk, (not sure when or how long they had been there for, wow that can't be good)  and to wash them down I did have a nice sized glass of Honey Lemon Ginseng green tea without sugar.  I figure that's kinda like having 6 Big Mac's and then washing it down with a Diet Coke so I should be good there.

I hope that the tamale breakfast doesn't throw the day completely off.  On a good note... After I finished last nights posting I did break out one of the Yoga tapes that was given to me by yep you guessed it RIGHT, my loving mother.  I had myself a 10 minute workout session.  Yes 10 whole minutes.  I figured that is obviously something I can do. Especially since I waste about 10 minutes sitting down anyway.  I have to admit Yoga isn't as easy as it looks, I was surprised at how your body can betray you with even the simplest of poses.

I was thinking to myself who looks good in that downward facing dog pose.  That can't be a flattering look for anyone from behind and certainly not for anyone that is behind you.  Me myself  I was content to remain in Mountain Pose for the duration. lol   However,  I know that Statue Posing isn't the name of the game now is it.  Remember folks, I am a work in progress and I know I have to take baby steps.

Since everyone has to start somewhere, why not start here?

As always thanks for your support. =)

Monday, January 17, 2011


I happened to find this page on the computer today about how several folks had a drastic weight transformation. This happened to show up coincidentally after having the "talk" with my mom the day before.  In this talk she prefaced the conversation with " What I am going to tell you isn't meant to hurt your feelings, I just want you to know something that has been on my mind."  She further went on to say I want you to be more concerned about your health.  She told me that she has a heart condition, not to mention a few other concerns that she has to monitor. Daughter you need to change your eating habits and try to excercise more is what she said.  You have gained a lot of weight and I am worried abut you now give me a hug and she politely sent me on my way.

Now in my head what I heard her say was what most people that have to deal with skinny family members is that you are fat and you need to lose weight.  Mind you that isn't what she said but, as you can imagine my feelings were hurt.

 She knows I have been on a constant battle with my weight since I had my son, yes I know that was more than 10 years ago now however, there are some things that occur in your life that attribute to weight gain. A C- Section, stress, your job, and sometimes I have even heard it just may be genetics.

With every word my mother said, it brought back so many memories of how I used to be the perfect weight.  I used to be able to maintain that weight with no problems.  What happened to the me that I used to be? Where is that girl... why is it that I can't seem to get a handle on this thing.   I work hard, I am not sedintary, as a matter a fact I am very active. No my lifestyle really doesn't give me much of a chance to get to a gym. There are lots of times where I seem to have no motivation to work out when I come home and yep I know these are merely excuses but,  to me they are valid.  If I don't have anyone watching me I don't push myself to let's say workout with one of these shows on t.v. or even use the darn tapes I have.

What I have been doing is making healthy choices and I have to do a considerable amount of walking at work so in my opinion that honestly seems to be enough.  Now in reality I know there are so many other things that I could be doing.  I find myself trying to mimic others and see what worked for them in the hopes that it would work for me.  I have done Weight Watchers, Atkins, the Master Cleanse and  even a few more that for the life of me I can't seem to remember at the present moment.

I figured that I could work this out if I had more of a structured base and possibly get some postive feedback during this process.  I do want to lose weight for not only myself but for my son.  He means everything to me and I certainly want to be here for him since we are all each other has.

If anyone has any pointers I have an open mind.  I realize that I have to take it one day at a time and remembering not to be so hard on myself if I fall down sometimes.