Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Hijacked - Working my way back

Hello everyone,

My apologies for the little hiatus.  I was having some technical difficulties but, now I am back.

Well after much hard work I was finally able to get back into my blog.  I am not sure if it was the user error or if someone in the cyber world  was keeping me back from giving my updates.  Since I was last able to check in way back in January... I have been diligently working on losing some weight.  I have been walking quite a bit and even eating healthier than I already was.  I am sure everyone has heard of one cleanse product or another but, I decided to go ahead and get one of those.  It was a 15 day cleanse and I did lose several pounds with it. I was very pleased with the results.  I didn't lose as much as I thought I would but it did help me jump-start my system and get me on the right path.  I am drinking lots of water and with the walking I am doing it has helped a great deal.

I have had some minor set backs since my last entries.  There was some trouble on the home front and I finally realized that I am truly an emotional eater.  I had said that before in one my previous entries,  but I couldn't have found that out at a more inopportune time. Meaning why did it have to happen when I am trying to lose weight and progressing so very well.  My son my very reason for being was having some serious trouble dealing with a  issue and while helping him work this problem out I started to get back on the old path of eating rice, having bread, and occasionally having some sweets. No it wasn't all the time but it was frequent enough that it could undo the few pounds that I did lose.  I would not eat a whole lot of these things but, since I know what they do to my body it would have been better to just get away from them altogether instead of heading down the path of destruction.

I would eat the rice with vegetables and instead of having a half of a cup I would have maybe 2 cups of rice and in my world with these hips and the rest of what I have to go with it, well it was pandemonium. The rice, the bread, the sweets are on a first name basis with me. Maybe just my middle name, but anyway when I put them in my mouth, all I could hear inside my head is girl didn't you miss all this is? ( if food could talk then my brain was interpreting the foods to be saying these words.)  I don't nor did I go out eating burgers and fries every day but again you know if you shouldn't have rice or lets say as much rice then why put it in your mouth.    I was sitting in my bedroom thinking I feel bad about eating the way I have been for the past few days and I just may have undone all of my hard work.

How is it that you can eat like that and it be so good while you're doing it and then moments later feel so sad, depressed, or even unsatisfied.  Most of my friends have told me that I am not eating bad at all.  You are having something from the basic food groups and you aren't eating a lot of fried foods. I eat and love vegetables, salads, and fruits.   Most of the meats I am eating are baked, or grilled so there is little to no fat if there is any at all.  Some how that doesn't make me feel any better.

I need to get to the root of the problem.  What is or what did cause me to gain the weight in the beginning that I can't seem to put a handle on.

I need to know my self worth and realize that I am not the only person that has had or will have an issue with weight.  

Thanks for listening............more to come.

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